Skoolie’s Neighborhood

going to shop for cars tonight... I am open to suggestions

On Monday nights I attend classes for The Bradley Method with my sister. She has asked me to be her co-coach at her birth.

This is incredibly exciting to me for a multitude of reasons, but mainly because this is my sister, and because it will be my first live birth as a doula-in-training.

I'm overjoyed. I am also finding that my education in anatomy and childbirth really comes in handy for this class, and I'm enjoying it on a different level.

I was first introduced to The Bradley Method by my neighbor maura_ea here on Vox as she prepared for the birth of her daughter earlier this year. I was pleased- and shocked- when my high-maintenance big sis started talking- and quite passionately- about natural childbirth, and was tickled when she decided on Bradley Method for her childbirth classes. More than likely I will get to use this class towards my DONA certification.

Her husband- my brother in nearly all respects, really- had an unfortunate change in work schedule that will no longer allow him to attend the classes with us. As a deputy of the sherriff's department, he really doesn't get a choice. We're all sad about it. But I'm glad my sister will have someone there who loves and supports her that will also be there for the birth.

Also, taking this class makes me want to get pregnant. I can't wait for the day that I have empowering experience of giving birth.

But I will wait awhile longer, because I get to be an auntie first!

the Happiest time of the year

I was watching a Christmas movie on Hallmark last night. Henry Winkler was the wise fun uncle who comes to stay for Christmas and  collects a handsome stranger at the airport, who of course falls in love with the uptight, corporate niece with the oh so cute kid.  I had one of those happy inane smiles on my face that you get when you watch a happy inane fluffy romantic comedy Christmas movie.

Mr FD must have been stunned by the sight of a smile upon my face – the first in a few days probably. He must have thought I had some secret supply somewhere and not sharing, so sat down and started to watch the movie with me. In the hope I would share no doubt. It wasn’t long before he was getting annoyed at the “bad guy” fiancé, who was boring and rich and distant and controlling, and cheering for the handsome stranger.

Just after the bad guy manipulates the good guy out of the picture and the wise uncle is telling uptight, list making girl to throw caution aside and run after the good guy, the cable station had some sort of break down. The frame just froze. It was the network’s problem and after a few minutes in which we imagined the lone person at the cable station , drinking coffee in the staff room, realising that the movie had frozen and running down the dark empty corridors to flick a switch, the channel when into an endless string of commercials.

Mr FD became quite distraught – how were we ever going to know what happened next? I said , relax, she will chase after him to the airport, but will not be able to find him and just as she is leaving he will appear from somewhere and all will be well.

No, not good enough for my man. He is obviously not going to sleep until he knows the outcome. I said, look even when it comes on again, they will skip a chunk to make up for lost time. I know the ways of this world, yes I do!

His eyes were like deer in the headlights. I could almost see and hear his mouth forming the word “NNNNOOOOOOOO!”. The man was in serious suffering.

The movie eventually came on, and yes they had leapt a chunk, but we got to see the scene where she is leaving the airport and he sees her retreating and calls out to her. Segway to car returning home and good guy running out of the car to embrace cute kid. Closing scene he and she kiss as the door closes. Sweet.

Mr FD was somewhat mollified, but the missing minutes of the storyline really upset him.  I think he went to bed a little empty.

This morning the #$@$#$%#$%@$#$^% parrots woke be at 5am, chirping away in the trees outside our bedroom, so I gave up the thought of sleep and came downstairs for a tea and one of the coffee muffins I made last night. I flipped on the television and LO! the movie was on replay and I was able to catch up on the missing storyline (I won’t tell in case you are yet to watch!). When Mr FD came downstairs I was able to relate the details to him. Oh happy day, he regained his happy glow.

It really doesn’t take much to keep a Mr FD happy. Perhaps you should buy one sometime. I got the family size.

Holy balls, I'm going to see Lamb of God tonight! ♫ http://blip.fm/~ht3sd

There's a common theme that arises among self-improvement gurus and writers that really bothers me. It is, basically:

"Take 100% responsibility for your own happiness."

or

"The only thing standing between you and happiness is YOURSELF."

or

"The problem is inside you."

Now, I think there's a valid point here. Those who live their lives to please others or blame others for their feelings are looking for external excuses too much... but also too little. What we tend to miss is the BIG PICTURE. The really big one. As in, we live in a world that is fundamentally built on oppression. Our global economy has never gotten over its dependence on the slave trade, despite appearances, and I believe that this state of affairs is toxic to everyone that lives in it.

Suppose you were in a bad marriage. A really bad one - your husband beats you every Tuesday and takes your paycheck to buy himself hookers and blow, let's say. You'd get out, right? But that is precisely the kind of relationship we have with multinational corporations. They cover the bruises well... giving out holiday bonuses and personal time off. And in order to receive those cheap rewards we bend over and take what they tell us we deserve.

And then we read self-help books to figure out why we are not satisfied with what might even look like "success" according to our cultural values. I posit that this epidemic of anti-depressants and meditation retreats that took hold the latter part of the 20th century has more to do with the advent of "human resources" as a viable term than it does with our own personal neuroses. I don't think we can fix this by working on ourselves.

Not that self work is a bad thing. The revolution won't get far if we can't individually manage to even get out of bed to get angry. But the problem is not inside you. I think it is important to hold on to that if we want to see any real change in our lifetimes. This abusive power structure will not hold up if we ALL refuse to accept it.

Google, the Red-Nosed Hot Spot-Free Wi-Fi at Airports for the Holidays http://ping.fm/ofRC5

perhaps not so much bling

Our sixteenth century ancestors used the shortened term ring to describe a ring-necked pheasant as well as jewellery for their fingers. Let us hope that your true love realises that you have enough feathered gifts to stuff a doona and opts for the finger bling!

Pheasants are native of Asia, but were introduced to Europe, and later America, where they were released into the wild and thrived in the new habitat. According to many accounts Alexander the Great brought pheasant to Greece following his conquests in Asia. Later, the Romans, having conquered Greece and the surrounding areas, introduced the birds to Western Europe. Old legends, popular in the middle ages, tell of Jason and the Argonauts bringing back golden birds. It didn't take long for people to conclude that the ring-necked pheasants were a sub-species of these golden birds and from Roman times onward the eating of pheasants was reserved for royalty.

For those following it more religiously then the five golden rings represent The first Five Books of the Old Testament, known as the Torah, or the Pentateuch: Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus,  Numbers, and Deuteronomy. The fifth day of Christmas, December 29^th  is also the feast of St. Thomas Becket.

So the tally for the fifth day of Christmas:

Five golden rings,

Four collie birds,

Three French hens,

Two turtle doves,

And a partridge in a pear tree.

That is a lot of bird action - hope you are not allergic! 

The Big Reveal is almost here!   What I've liked best about the Use the Muse competitions is that they have motivated me to learn new things.  I've done the Star Trek thing - gone where no man has gone before - LOL!